Communication between two people in love has been notoriously difficult throughout history. Just think if Juliet could have made a quick call to Romeo to explain she was totally okay. Turns out, communication is difficult, even with cellphones. Studies from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin show that men and women show love in hugely different ways. One of the best things you can do in a relationship is pay attention to the way your partner expresses love. Have you noticed these ways that your husband says, “I love you”?
- When he gives you his full attention. He turns off the TV (the kind of thing you didn’t realize you should expect from your high school boyfriend) to listen. When he steps away from whatever he’s doing, whether it’s work or scrolling Facebook, he’s showing that he cares. And he keeps listening even when you can’t seem to stop ranting about how your co-workers are driving you crazy. Even if he’s stressed about work or exhausted from his own long day. He might not say much, but he’ll try to absorb everything you’re saying. Maybe he’ll just be there for you to vent. Most of the time, that’s all we want anyway.
- When he’s intentional about his time with you. With hectic schedules and so many responsibilities to fit in a day, quality time is a struggle. This might mean he sacrifices time with his friends or evening drinks every once in a while. Establishing time together takes effort, and he’s showing that he cares when he works to set aside time in his schedule to be with you, even if it’s just to stay in and binge watch a new TV show. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, he just likes to spend time with you.
- When he tells you that you’re beautiful. All the time. Whether you’re all dressed-up for date night or rocking the grunge look. It’s easy to roll your eyes when he tells you that you’re beautiful in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants. But remember that he’s reminding you what you mean to him. To him, “You’re beautiful,” is more than a sentence and more than what you look like in the moment. It’s how he thinks of you even when you’re not around. So when he drops the compliment when you know you don’t look your best, take a minute to notice how he’s showing his love.
- When he goes along to the mall. Or worse, IKEA. Or really, any time he does what you do just to have more time with you. Maybe that’s watching Dance Moms or The Bachelor when he’d rather be watching literally anything else. Actions really do speak louder than words, and every time he gives up his preference for how he spends his time, he’s showing that he cares more about you than getting the first pick.